We grow so accustomed to the daily grind of our busy lives, with barely a thought of reassessing if what we are doing is what we ought to be doing. And here’s another thought: what if the “thing you had planned” that didn’t turn out the way you thought, was actually part of the Bigger Plan?
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The bottom line is that we must learn to take responsibility for the health of our own soul and learn to rest in Him. Cease wrestling and striving. One aspect of this is to recognize that I am not responsible for the management of others’ perceptions of me.
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The circumstances in our life that we are confronted with on a daily basis has a tendency to define us; but when we daily roll the losses we encounter onto the shoulders of a God who loves us fiercely and intimately, we learn to walk in His strength and not our own.
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I suppose there are many of us who, at times in our lives, have questioned whether or not we took the right path. The varying degrees of this thought pattern are multifaceted and can range from “I wish I would have done such and such a thing” to “Where would I be if I had made this choice?” We treat our life as if it’s a cosmic “Choose Your Own Adventure,” forgetting about the variables that surrounded us at that time, variables that most certainly swayed us one way or another.
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An emotional boundary isn’t set in place to keep the other person “in line” or behaving in a prescribed manner; rather, the boundary is me giving myself permission to not give another access to my soul.
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When circumstances thin down our security, we need to be reminded that we are hemmed in by God, and our security is found in Him.
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Hagar (meaning flight or forsaken), handmaid of Sarai, acts as a model of hope in the midst of distressing circumstances. Tasked with bearing a son for her mistress Sarai, Hagar was thereafter banished to the desert in what must have felt like an ultimate act of betrayal and unkindness from her mistress.
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A more appealing alternative to finding solstice in nature than my ow futile attempts at solitude when I had young children; in moments when I craved a quiet respite, I would flee to the bathroom or my small closet. I would wonder, in those busy times of child-rearing and child training, if I would ever be able to have a clean and orderly patch of my small world for more than 10 minutes at a time.
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I wonder if Mary ever felt claustrophobic in the midst of her circumstances–an unwed pregnant teen, looking for a way out of a tight spot. No elbow room or give in the taut and tense corner of expected norms in the corner of her culture. No invitation to “Come” over for a meal to to hang out.
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To be named. To be known. Isn’t that what lies at the crux of every human being? To have ties, roots, and traditions to keep us anchored. Herein lies the premise of adoption—an orphan, who has no earthly ties, taking on a new surname. It is such a compelling metaphor.
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This meditation took me down an awesome but unexpected path. (Isn’t that just His way?) Like many, I get sentimental around the holidays and enjoy all the feels of Christmas music, twinkling lights, and the Nativity scene. I am, however, realizing that I have been equating Advent with Lenten season, a preparing of the heart. That’s not wrong; it’s just that I think it is easy to hyper-focus on Advent with its connection to the Nativity or Mary’s perspective.
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We have all experienced them. A shattered business endeavor; a disappointed dream; a wayward child. Like a stillborn child, the dream is unable to be resuscitated. We are left wounded, devastated, hope deferred and our path deterred. When the rug is pulled out from under our feet; when we find ourselves on a detour we didn’t map out; while yet clutching onto our stillborn dream, He is still holding us.
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A devastating passage, for those who do not have an anchor. Is it any wonder so many are without hope? Our culture builds security on seemingly everything and anything but God: a nicer home, our talents, our careers, our notoriety, our name, our ego, the good opinion of others, our identity built around these things.
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This passage tethers my roving and restless soul to the unalterable promise that He instructs us and teaches us the way to go and guides us with His eye. There is an admonition to not be like the horse or mule, which have no understanding; He doesn’t want to muzzle us.
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Work has always been a part of the equation. We were always meant to tend, cultivate, and name; but, we don’t like to think about how the Fall created more work for us. In every way imaginable. Eve missed the manipulation maneuver Satan pulled on her as he hacked his way into the equation. We still too often miss the clues that he’s hacking his lies into our lives.
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It is in the in-between space where God wants to meet me. It’s the space where He wants to build something new in me, the space He wants to reveal a new truth about His nature to me. And while we journey through the unexpected circumstances in life, we can hinge our expectations on Him.
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