Being creative on my own terms is what I am used to doing. Since I struggle with being disciplined, it’s just easier to do things when I want to, rather than making an intentional decision. After basing my creative process (i.e., that it’s easier to do things when I want to) on this lie, I have realized not only how selfish it is, but how stuck it has gotten me.
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As a society, we are always promoting our best for ourselves. However, these self-centered statements like “being my best self,” “being the best version of me,” or “ I am living my best life” can end up hurting ourselves and others. This happens when we interpret these phrases with the idea that we do it by ourselves, which is not a sustainable way to live. When I see these “best” phrases, there are two ways they potentially affect people's lives.
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Our experiences in life shape how we move forward in the future and how vulnerable we are with others. Habits that we fed as we grew up have affected the daily choices that we make now. We are humans who live out patterns, and we can see that in our own lives because of the choices—or lack thereof—that we make.
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Somewhere along the way, a belief might have become a part of our thinking: we receive love when we do something good or something worthy of praise. As a result of believing this, we end up doing things, not out of love, but with the motive to receive love. When we view our relationships with a transactional mentality, it shapes how we believe God loves us. For example, if we do something good, we get love and if we do something bad, that love is taken away. Our brains revert to this perverted version of love; that is a lie. This destroys our view of God, what He has done for us, and His grace.
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Have you ever felt tired and worn out, but nothing seems to quench your thirst for rest? Imagine, you are in a desert and your mouth is aching for a drop of water. You see an oasis in the distance, but as you move closer, you realize your mind was playing a trick on you--a hallucination. Something looked like your solution (and for a bit it was) but your thirst was never satisfied. Sometimes we can feel this way about rest. We continue to look for long term solutions, but become disappointed with the momentary idea of satisfaction as we realize our coping mechanism was only giving us an illusion of rest.
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Ruthie Allen is a friend, wife, mother, entrepreneur, and photographer. She began the Return to Rest Retreat in 2014, understanding that her many titles complimented her, but that they were not what her identity was built on. Return to Rest is a retreat for ALL women rooted in finding true rest through Jesus Christ. Ruthie is excited to continue to share this message of rest with others as she facilitates this retreat in a cozy cabin in New Hampshire.
There are usually two extremes we go to when making choices: we either pick too quickly, without thought or become paralyzed with the fear of making the wrong choice. Before we move any further, let’s clarify the type of decisions we are talking about today.
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We often get to a point in life where there doesn't seem to be a convenient community to fall into. Our circumstances are lacking a built-in group of people that can give godly guidance, share our hopes and dreams, and walk through life together. Through living what lives we have lived, most of us realize that choosing the people we want to invest in us (and vice versa) is crucial in our walk with Jesus.
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We all have hopes and desires for our lives, but what if we are in a season where there doesn't seem to be any opportunity for our dreams to be fulfilled? Many of us young women (including myself) are eager to find a husband and have a family. These desires rest deep inside our hearts and long to be fulfilled.
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Over the past few years, I have come to learn more about God and also myself. I have learned that I feel the most alive when I am outside and feel the most connected to God when I listen to worship music. I hear God’s voice and am reminded of how He feels about me when I read my Bible. Through my experiences, I feel like God speaks to me most predominantly through interactions with others or through my circumstances. I use this information about myself in order to have a deeper relationship with Christ–not to limit how God can work in my life. God has created each of us differently and, as a result, we connect with Him–just like with others–in various ways.
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Have you ever thought about where your worry stems from? I think when we are made aware of the root of our worry, it can help us understand it. Most times, worry feels uncontrollable. Maybe that's why us worriers dislike it so much.
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As we learn how to prioritze school, work, relationships, commitments, and spending time with God, our attentions are being pulled in different directions and we are easily distracted. This can become draining if we don't learn how to prioritize.
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Discouraging and condemning thoughts became my lifestyle and I began to view my circumstances through this lens. One small slip up was all it would take for condemning thoughts to come flooding in.
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