Can Women Be Helpers and Leaders?
Last week, we talked about what it means that women were created to be helpers. There are two opposite ways women react to this statement: (1) push back that this is an unfair stereotype that pigeonholes women at home doing domestic chores or (2) embrace it as support for why women shouldn’t be in the workforce and/or moving up the corporate ladder into leadership. Both points have merit, so let’s discuss the intersection of women working and being helpers.
First, there is one crucial point we must acknowledge and understand: women being helpers is not a stereotype or a label - it is how we were created by God, in His image, which means it is part of each one of us who was born a female (see Genesis 2:18).
This means that being a helper isn’t somehow activated the moment you say “I do” and become a wife; it is already a part of you. However, we live it out most fully and abundantly within the covenant of marriage because the helper role was created by God with the intention of giving a man a help meet.
Thus, it is inevitable that - single or married - this part of us is going to come out in the workplace. Because although you have “helper” in you doesn’t mean you can’t ever have a career or be a leader. Let’s take a look at Deborah (Judges 4 and 5) as an example.
Deborah was a prophetess who judged Israel around 1215 B.C.. As we look at how Deborah moved into the role of leading Israel, let’s recap our Bible study from last week on the traits of a helper to see if Deborah exhibited any of those characteristics outside of the marriage scope.
A helper is a woman who inspires you to remember what Jesus said → Deborah repeatedly reminded Barak that the Lord promised to be with them and give them victory (4:14).
She helps others in their weakness → When Barak refused to go into battle on his own, she went with him (4:8-9).
She walks in the Spirit so she is able to encourage others in their faith → As a prophetess (4:4), she quite literally heard God’s voice and shared it with the people of Israel. For example, in Judges 4:6-7, she summoned Barak to give him a message from God to deploy the troops.
A help meet is a counselor and an advocate → when Barak asked Deborah to go with him into battle, she stepped in on his behalf and stood by his side during the battle (4:9-10). In Judges 4:14-16, Deborah gave instructions to Barak and his men, and then she stayed behind on Mount Tabor while the army of men went down to fight. Deborah counseled and encouraged Barak, but she did not fight his battles for him.
This is a woman who guides others in Truth because she is deeply rooted in His word → As a prophetess, Deborah was one of the few people in Israel anointed to hear from God firsthand. She heard His voice and was able to guide the people of Israel in the correct way. The Lord was her true guiding star and she didn’t waver from His instructions.
Where a Godly helper is, there is freedom → Because of Deborah’s guidance and leadership, God brought victory and freedom to the people of Israel, and as a result, they had rest for 40 years (5:31).
A helper loves like Jesus → Deborah technically didn’t have Jesus as an example, but she did love her people with a Godly kind of love because her heart belonged to those whom she helped and led (5:9).
Deborah seems to have the characteristics of a helper. Somehow, even though she was a judge and a prophetess, she still appeared to embrace her God-created femininity in jobs traditionally held by men. So, how did she do that and what can we learn from her example?
1. Your role as a helper is different at home with your husband than it is at work and with every other man on planet earth
At one point, I was working with a manager who, although brilliant, was the least organized person I have ever met. He’d constantly lose track of things, forget to eat and sleep, and his workspace was chaos. Since we worked closely and in high stress situations, his lack of organization impacted my work. Although he was married, those circumstances were prime real estate for the helper in me to come out, if only for the sake of my own sanity (e.g., if he was working all night and not sleeping, I wasn’t either; if he was skipping lunch to work, so was I; if he lost track of important documents in his chaos, that impacted if I could do my work).
As a result, I constantly had to keep myself in check as a workplace helper. There were boundaries within which I could help him and keep things professional, but there were also things that simply weren’t my concern as a co-worker.
Because let’s be clear: Eve was created to be a helper to Adam, her husband. So, you weren’t created to fill the helper role for all men, but one man (at least in the fullest, most complete sense). With everyone else, the role of helper is limited to that of brotherly love and Christian charity, so at work, keep it Godly and professional.
Deborah was a wife (Judges 4:4), so I imagine when she was at home, she was a wife to her husband - a helper to the full extent - and when she was at work as a judge and a prophetess - although she still exhibited the traits of a helper - she was a bold and confident leader.
You are a helper. It is a part of who God created you to be, but how you live that out will vary in degree and by situation. To discern this in your daily life, make it a daily habit to walk in the Spirit and He, in his Helper role, will teach you (John 14:26) and guide you (John 16:12-15).
2. Encourage and allow others to fulfill their God-assigned roles and tasks
Just because you can do someone’s job or assigned task better or faster doesn’t mean it is yours for the taking. Y’all, I’m all for speaking up for yourself at work and volunteering to take on tasks that will challenge and move you up in your career, but this should never be done at the expense of others. At the core of who we are as Christians are people - and women - who build others up and count others as more important than ourselves, including in the workplace (Phil. 2:3-11).
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. -Matthew 23:12
Notice how Deborah called Barak and gave him the command from God because 1) God told her it was going to be Barak assigned to the task and 2) he was likely in the military and thus trained for this kind of thing. I don’t know if God revealed to Deborah the extent of her involvement in this battle call, but regardless, she respected the military order and didn’t overstep at her own initiative to make things happen. Stay in your lane and do what God has called YOU to do.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you. -1 Peter 5:6
3. Be willing to step in and lead when asked or when the situation calls for it
I truly believe the reason Barak asked Deborah to go with him is because he knew God was with her. You don’t ask for help from someone who you perceive to be weaker than you, somehow inferior or less than. No, you go for help to the person you know has the ability to help; someone who can do what you want to ask of them or they have the connections to make it happen.
When Barak refused to go to war without Deborah, she didn’t hesitate or negotiate - she stepped in to help. Often, we as women, even when we’re asked to help, if the job feels too big or we feel unqualified to do it, we hold ourselves back. There may be people who give you the opportunity to step into a leadership role, even if it means they won’t get the glory or the credit by giving you the opportunity. When you get those chances, I hope you take them confidently.
When the commander of the army said he won’t go into battle without her, Deborah didn’t spend hours debating the pros and cons, the dangers and the benefits; instead she agreed to accompany the soldiers into battle. Why? Because she knew the Lord would win the battle for the people of Israel, so she was fearless.
Note, even though she went to battle alongside Barak, in Judges 5:9, Deborah sings, “My heart is with the rulers of Israel who offered themselves willingly with the people. Bless the Lord!” She didn’t get prideful and promote herself to the top. She recognized her role and then she pointed people to the leaders of Israel and then to God, in that order. So, when you do get the chance to shine, remember who you are and to whom the glory truly belongs.
4. Being a helper makes you an incredible leader with a rare kind of intuition
But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. -Luke 22:26
In Mark 10:42-45, Jesus introduces the concept of servant leadership. And in Acts 20:35, we’re reminded that “we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Read that verse again. Helping the weak? Reminding others of the words Jesus said? Giving rather than receiving? Aren’t those all the characteristics of a helper we’ve been studying? And all of that is already innately in you as a woman! This means that we as women are especially equipped for servant leadership, the kind that Jesus modeled with His entire life. Because, like Jesus, we aren’t on this earth to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28), and it is not a woman thing, but a Jesus thing.
In Judges 5:7, Deborah describes her ascent to leadership as a mother arising in Israel. Can you imagine a female president today calling herself the mother of her nation? In our world today, that label for a female leader is just not accepted, and would be completely ridiculed. Yet, Deborah - who judged Israel for decades and led Barak’s men into battle - chose that label for herself as a female leader! She saw her role as leader not as one that is domineering, controlling, or even masculine - instead, she saw her position as that of a mother who instructs, rules and protects. Similarly, Apostle Paul called himself a spiritual father to those he led and taught (1 Cor. 4:15).
So, please don’t buy into the feminist point that being a helper means you’re doomed to always be stuck in the house doing domestic tasks to serve your husband and kids or that you can’t be a leader. Because it is so much deeper and more spiritual than what this world perceives helpers as. Which is why today, more than ever before, we need a generation of Deborahs - women who will step into their role as helpers and leaders, as God and life circumstances call them to those roles, in the workplace and at home.
Step boldly into who God created you to be and decisively do the work He has given you to do - whether it is at work, at home, or both.
What God can accomplish in and through a woman shaped by Him and obedient to His voice can change a nation, a generation, and bring peace for decades to come. Because being a helper is no small thing.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Yelena is the founder and editor in chief Tirzah. Yelena works as an attorney in tax and in her spare time, she is working on her first book for unmarried twenty-something women in extended waiting seasons and running Tirzah. She has a passion for pointing young women to Christ, and enjoys reading, writing, traveling, and spending time with her family.