About eighteen months ago, I entered a new season as I became a parent. Motherhood has been joy-filled and beautiful, as well as challenging and growth-inducing.  Becoming a parent changes who you are and shapes you in new ways - some that you would expect and others that you cannot really anticipate until you’re in the midst of the role and finding your way in it.  

A key lesson that I’ve been learning and re-imagining is how to meet with God in meaningful ways during this period and how to do so with grace rather than striving, which typically only leads to disappointment and being disheartened). I’ve been contemplating the pursuit of Jesus Christ and resting in Him - two things which can, and should, co-exist in our walk with Him.

I feel that the combination of the goal-driven society we live in and our innate desire to excel at everything (am I the only one? eek…) can often lead to performance-based, rather than relationship-focused, living.  We all experience changing seasons, whatever they might be. If you, like me, have sometimes found yourselves a little ‘lost at sea’ in your ‘new’, then come meander through scripture with me as we ponder how God would have us handle change, whilst maintaining a beautiful relationship with Him.

His grace always trumps our efforts

Our world often brings us into a state of competition and comparison - it leads to constant works and endless ruminating as we try to ‘prove ourselves’ fit for a role or a position.  Have you ever begun a new job and rather than easing into it, felt like you’ve been thrown in the deep end and expected to swim to shore (or across the English channel as it may feel) completely unaided and unphased… all before lunchtime? That’s just too much pressure, right?!  We can look at such a situation, as an outsider, and easily identify that it’s just not the way it should be.  Yet, how often do we place pressure on ourselves (in various forms) to be spiritually this way?  We tend to expect ourselves to have everything figured out, to possess the perfect quiet time, to show consistency in our prayer life and servanthood day after day, regardless of what else is occurring in our lives? Whilst this goal seems noble, it can actually be a form of pride (or self-sufficiency).  

As I entered motherhood and foster care, I quickly became ‘not the expert’, but rather the one continually crying out to God, “Lord, help me!” 

“Help me know how to parent. Help me to know how to navigate the health system and other bodies that I now need to work alongside. Help me to be gracious to those that appear undeserving. Help me to have patience and love when I’m tired and overstimulated (other mums, I’m sure you understand - all the noise and being ‘touched out’ some days). Help me to teach my little ones about You. Help me to be an example to them of Christ and His unrelenting love and grace. Help me to get all the chores done. Help me to get nutritious meals on the table. Help me to know how to spend time with you when my time and energy are so quickly spent”.

So many cries for help, both in the natural and the spiritual.  

Initially, I attempted (in vain) to do all the things I’d done before AND to mother well. Little by little, God began to strip away the things which weren’t necessary in this new season. He renewed my priorities and showed me what is most important at this time in my life. He reminded me that our relationship (His and mine) will look different now, and that it is okay for it to be that way. He showed me grace and has taught me to give it to myself! Less striving for perfection and completion, more grace-filled living.  In the midst of my ‘I can’t do it all epiphany’, a gem of a friend shared the wisdom of Isaiah 40:11 (NIV) with me: 

“He (God) tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.”

Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

God is not carrying around a big stick to hit or prod us with, to get us ‘back on track’ so that we can be ‘doing everything right’.  He is leading us with gentleness. Read those words again… meditate on them.  Allow them to sink deep into your heart.  God is gathering us in His arms, carrying us, and gently leading us.  He is doing this with full understanding of the season we are walking in and what it requires of us. Mothers, He knows that you may not be getting enough sleep.  He sees that you have very few moments all to yourself. He realizes that it’s hard to juggle a Bible on your lap and a baby needing your attention. He knows. He isn’t chiding you for not committing to the same kind of time with Him as you had pre-children. He isn’t disappointed in you. He is not disheartened by the fact that your attention is divided - He understands. He gave you your children and He intends for you to nurture and nourish them, giving your time to them. Moreover… He doesn’t see an uninterrupted time of devotions with Him as being better than a quick prayer of gratitude whilst you tend to your little people. Our heavenly Father is ever-present and to Him every moment is holy and precious. God-focused times don’t need to look a certain way or hold to particular religious traditions in order to be meaningful or awe-inspiring. It has often been the small things, such as catching a glimpse of the Lord’s joy expressed in the smile and giggle of my little boy, which have given me such incredible insight into our Father and His heart. Don’t push away these moments or discount their value. Let God’s grace empower you to find Him in the everyday, and to put aside your striving in order to really appreciate the peace and rest which is found only in Him.

If you are in a season of parenthood, I’d encourage you to consider the following questions centered around the lessons of faith which can be found in your parenting experiences:

• How does your child seek you and why do they seek you?  How does he/she react to your responses towards him/her?  What makes him/her feel safe and secure?  What brings him/her comfort?  Then consider, how and why do I approach my heavenly Father? How does He respond to me?  What brings safety, security and comfort to me in my relationship with Him?  

• What lessons can I glean from motherhood that could cause me to lean in to the Father and embrace His fatherliness in a whole new light or a deeper way?  

• How can His love inform mine (the love I give to others)?  

• How can the Father’s responses towards me be better understood when I consider how and why I respond to my child/children in the ways that I do?  

If you’re not a parent right now, consider your own season and all it entails and ponder similar questions - what can you learn about God in the place that you’re in right now? How can the small moments be significant ones? What can you learn of the Father as you walk out the journey He has set before you?

PRAYEr

I pray for each woman who reads this today, Lord, that you’ll help her to embrace the little lessons in faith that you are showing her, day by day, in the ‘ordinary’ of her everyday life. Let these moments be meaningful, growth-bringing and fruit-developing in her life. Give her reassurance of your presence and your love. Show her the beauty that surrounds the role you’ve given to her. Fill her cup to overflowing and have your Spirit teach her, advocate on her behalf and that of her children, and remind her of all truth - that found in the Word and in You. Thank you Father for your great love and the example you set for us.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Ladies, 

Thank you for giving your time to read this post (I know that requires commitment and effort sometimes, which can be challenging when you are busy or weary).  

I hope these words have brought encouragement to you today.  

I’ll share more on my pursuit of Jesus, resting in Him and meeting with Him in meaningful ways in future posts… because just as I’m learning that I can’t ‘do it all’, so I’m discovering that I can’t ‘write it all’ either - and sometimes less is enough!

Be blessed xx